Assumptions, Awareness, Journey

In chapter two of our discussion on the Dying Well episodes, Dr. Byock has lived through the questions and answers that drive us to review our personal mission in life. He began noticing that in the health care social circle, a dying person was looked upon as somewhat undignified. Death was a problem reviewed and documented in rounds. Heroic measures for saving life became little more than a script for medical staff to follow with knowingness of exact outcomes and those outcomes did not equal life. This chapter is the introduction period for Dr. Byock to the hospice world. His experiences and new insights on death and dying gave birth to a team that would assume the responsibility for those who left the medical facility on borrowed time. New ideas initiated thoughts of good deaths being fostered and not happenstance. Dr. Byock coined a new term of "Dying Well" since it encompassed more than an ending. This new term would become the whispered mantra of his band of health care workers to celebrate life. In this chapter, Dr. Byock makes the analogy of end of life to a toddler's developmental course of discovery, functional capacity, and adaptation to change. We begin to see here how one may be healed if not cured at the end of this known existence.

The discussion guide asks us to look at the following:


In the second paragraph of this chapter, Dr. Byock states: “the time of my father’s dying, especially the last months and weeks, pervaded my thoughts and permeated my dreams. The memories were full of compelling images and poignant vignettes that connected me with a deep, aching sadness. Something about that time was also undeniably precious.”(p.25)

Have you had an experience similar to his?
What makes them so poignant?
What makes these images and memories precious?

As Dr. Byock recalled his experience with death on a hospital unit, he asked the question, “I wondered what it was permissible to die from.”(p. 27)

What do you think he is asking?

In your experience, are there more acceptable reasons for dying compared to others?

Are there reasons for death that you are more comfortable with than others?

Have you discussed your final wishes to those who are close to you? If not, why?

What does the expression "dying well" mean to you?

What would be a "good death" for you when that time comes?

Join me next Friday at 8:30 a.m. Eastern for Chapter 3 - Learning to Die Well - Ann Marie Wilson.